Only Tobin leaves the back porch. There is no roof-rack for the kayak and Barney is afraid of thresholds. That last part is a lie - Tobin uses lentil loaf to keep the kayak from scratching the roof of his car and Barney has a safe word.
As we were leaving, a giant truck pulled up across the street. Three men with a small chainsaw attached to a long pole & a wood-chipper hopped out, cut down a tree, and shredded it without warning. The whole ordeal lasted no more than two minutes. The driver spit on the ground before he hopped back into the truck and sped away. Everyone wore the appropriate safety gear.
Properly carbonating IHOP Dr. Pepper is more complicated than you know.